newspapers and their readers

Posted on March 4, 2006

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| 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
|
| 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
|
| 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
| country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
|
| 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
| but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
| their statistics shown in pie charts.
|
| 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the
| country — if they could find the time — and if they didn’t have to
| leave Southern California to do it.
|
| 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
| country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
|
| 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s
| running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat
| on the train.
|
| 8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the
| country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
| intoxicated.
|
| 9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
| but need the baseball scores.
|
| 10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there
| is a country … or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose
| all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
| are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be
| illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course,
| that they are not Republicans.
|
| 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
| grocery store.
|
| 12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into
| the ground.

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